![]() ![]() The issue lies therefore not in opposing the wafflestomp-a draconian measure to say the least-but in educating people on proper techniques. What this argument fails to understand is that variety is the spice of life-a waffle’s variety is what makes the stomp so satisfying, and to take that away would be to take away one of life’s greatest joys.Įven well-intended opponents of the wafflestomp are sheepish to admit that a well-executed stomp is hygienic and effective. Opponents of the wafflestomp will contend that the sheer variety of waffles in our society make the wafflestomp a high- stakes activity, with the average punter unprepared for all the variegated waffles life may throw at him. Whether it be a date to the Indian restaurant down the road or some funky sushi, the privacy and noise protection of the shower provide the perfect cover to destroy the evidence, and the steaming water a biblical cleansing of your sins. Not only does wafflestomping significantly reduce water consumption, combining showering and toileting into one progressive activity, but it also reduces deforestation, as wafflestomping rids us of the need for toilet paper, turning instead to the gentle stream of a warm shower.įurthermore, countless men and women across the world know the utility of a wafflestomp in a time of crisis. Amidst this push for a cleaner world, wafflestomping has become an integral part of any environmentalist’s morning routine. Undoubtedly, we live today in an environmentally conscious world, where recycling is paramount and natural resources are in short supply. The wafflestomp derives its name from the Belgians, who were the first to practice ‘the stomp’ in the mid-18th century, and involves the pressing of one’s excrement down the drain of one’s shower, or la douche as the French affectionately call it. For the uninitiated, a quick summation of the stomping movement is perhaps in order. The name itself conjures up fond memories for many, and cold sweats of fear for others. ![]()
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